Return to My Roots

I knew getting into this blog that I would be totally inconsistent with posting. It’s been months since my last blog post. Many others may update their readers in one post with what’s gone on in their lives, but not this guy. To be honest it’s been kind of slow in my world lately. I will update with a couple of posts to kind of catch up. Although I really wanted to start with this.

I was born in Bad Tolz, Germany while my father was stationed there. The American post that was there was a Non-Commissioned Officer Academy and my Dad was stationed there as a military police officer. It was a tiny post in the middle of Bavaria. So with that being said, I was actually born in a German hospital.

We left there when I was a little over 2 years old. So not there long enough for me to remember anything about it. I’ve seen pictures that my Mom has and some that my Grandmother would pull out every so often. It has always been my dream to go back there and just check it out. I think there was a part of me that almost felt like a part of my identity was missing.

I put together a trip to take my mom. You want to talk about a dream come true. I scheduled the trip in the middle of November and we MADE IT WORK!!!!

I left Riyadh just after midnight and scheduled the plane to arrive before my Mom would get to Munich. Which actually turned out perfect because I was able to catch some sleep on the flight. i arrived in Munich and found the restaurant that Mom and I determined to be a good meeting place. Let me tell you, nothing finer than some German sausages for breakfast. Oh and of course, after no drinks since the summer, German beer!

Mom got there and we made a run for our Airbnb. Short walk to our apartment, with a detour and some careful sleuthing to find the key to the apartment, we made it.

We spent that first day checking out Munich. Luckily our apartment was close to the train station. We hopped the train and made our way to Marienplatz. It’s the main market street in Munich with the beautiful Glockenspiel centrally located.

We saw the Glockenspiel strike and were actually able to catch the “show.” I have seen pictures of it in the past, and even little models of cuckoo clocks that are built with it as a model. But let me tell you now, there is nothing like being able to see life size cuckoo models moving. I always imagined something like out of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Nothing like that at all!! I felt like a child watching a Punch and Judy show.

Next on our agenda was the infamous Hofbrauhaus. More German beer, and of course pretzels and sausages! The atmosphere just walking in the entrance, you know for sure you are in the beer hall of Oktoberfest. There was a live brass quartet playing German marches and the place is full of benches.

That night we all crashed hard. We had BIG plans for the next morning. Looking for a breakfast place, and one centrally located to the main train station, we found of all places California Bean. The coffee was amazing, but I went for this amazing plate of sausages and bacon covered in fried eggs. After months without pork, I tend to gorge myself whenever I get the chance. AND IT WAS GOOD!!!

We all were full and happy at this point! We made our way to the Hofbahnhaus (Central Train Station), and boarded our train to Bad Tolz!!!! A 2 hour train ride through the Bavarian countryside and there we were, MY birthplace. Seriously, A BUCKET LIST ITEM!!!!

The first thing we try to do is find a taxi. Seriously like one of the hardest things of the whole trip. Of course we don’t have a German SIM card for our phones, so calling was out of the picture. There was one taxi hanging around, but he was scheduled to have a pick up. It was going to be 15 minutes or so, so we went to the taxi pick up area (which was completely empty) . So after looking at taxi ads and realizing we couldn’t get through (because of no SIM), we stood and took our chances. Low and behold, the taxi that was waiting on a customer pulls around and says his pickup didn’t show . YES!! We jump in and off we go!

The driver was born and raised in Bad Tolz, and it made it so much easier for us as he remembered some of the things that weren’t there anymore. He took us to the housing area where my parents had lived when there. Mom was able to point out the hill that she took me to for my first sled ride. The buildings were still there and mostly the same. Mom and I walked right up and she told me exactly what windows were ours.

Next on the agenda was the hospital. It was set in this backdrop of gorgeous trees with a beautiful garden to the front of it. My only thought was, imagine this place in spring! We walked to the entrance and right there it was, just above the main door and to the left was the room I was born in. I thought about going in and trying to explain my story to see the room, but thought that may be just a bit on the creepy side, and I really didn’t want a run-in with security in Germany.

After the hospital, Mom had the taxi take us to where the Academy used to be. All the buildings had been renovated into apartments. It was this part where I really just sat back and listened and learned. Mom told me about how the buildings were set up as far as offices and the school went. Then she told me, that as a way to earn extra money for us, she would be hired to wax the floors in the female barracks for the school. This absolutely blew my mind in two ways. First, I’ve always known my mom to be a hard worker, but doing that is not easy work and is time consuming. I know she did it to provide for me the best she could. Second, WHERE THE HELL WAS THAT WHEN I WENT TO THE NCO ACADEMY!!!!

We decided here to have a late lunch. There was a little Chinese place in the middle of the academy area and we settled in for a bite. This is where we struggled with the language barrier the most. We muddled our way through and order and sat and talked. I listened to memories my mom had and enjoyed being able to make new memories with her.

After that we walked around “downtown,” where the MarketStrasse for the town is. We checked out an old church and then the shops. Some souvenirs we bought and it was time to head back to the train. Along the way, the taxi driver tells me that Bad Tolz has a FREAKING HOCKEY TEAM and there is a game that night. I con Mom into stopping and trying to pick up some merch. I end up buying a hoodie, a scarf, and a beanie.

Back to the train and another 2 hour ride back to Munich. Once back in Munich, back to apartment and straight to bed.

The next morning we had plans to go to Neuschwanstein Castle. This is the castle that the Cinderella castle in Disney is based off of. It is majestic, beautiful, and when you know the history, eerie.

It started with a bus ride where we all ended up separated. Worked out, I took a nap LOL! We get to this beautiful little town thats basically a couple of hotels and some restaurants. Then the shocker comes in, we are walking to the castle. May not sound like a big deal, but 45 mins uphill with switchbacks, while watching for cars and carriages on their way up or down. Let me tell you by the time we got to the castle, I was already smoked.

The tour through the castle was pretty cool, and learning the history fo the castle really made me think it was written out of a novel. The castle had its own “theater” so that the king at the time could have his own opera house basically. He had used all of the family’s saved money to build the castle. And shut himself away inside of it for the last of his young years. There are many stories surrounding his death. Whether he was assassinated or died in a drowning accident, noone knows.

Back on the bus and back to Munich we went. YAY, another nap for me LOL! We knew we needed a brief dinner and get Mom back to the apartment so she could pack to leave. There was a little restaurant across the street from our apartment, so we headed there. Dinner was excellent, and of course more pretzels and beer for me.

The next morning it was time to send my momma home. What a bittersweet moment. But being my mom she would only let me go to the train station with her. She would find the rest of the way herself. I never in my wildest dreams that not only would I ever be able to get back to my birthplace, but also have a personal tour guide who knew the whole story. My next bucket list is to be able to take my oldest daughter back with me and show her where her Daddy was born.

So there it is. A little late (OK, OK, a LOT late). I am going to defintely try to be more active than I have been.

New Passions!

So lately I’ve gotten creative. Probably the most creative I have ever felt in my life. I’ve dabbled in a little of everything from time to time, but usually my OCD and need for perfection usually stops me from continuing them.

I’ve always written, whether journal style or some fiction I wrote almost 30 years ago. It was hard for me to journal for a long time because of the fact that I was pretty negative and writing just made me dote on it even more and I spiraled. As far as the fiction goes, I wrote about 16 pages of a story when I was in high school. I had told my friend about it and he wanted to read it. So I gave him the first 10 pages or so. Well a couple of days goes by, I ask for it back and he has lost it! I was pissed. Lo and behold, there was no point, I felt to continue writing and it really kept me from writing again. I’ve always felt I have a way with written words. Believe me I have enjoyed getting back to writing with this blog. No telling how big the audience will ever be, but I enjoy writing it.

A few times over the last couple of years, I’ve wanted to make something nice for my daughters. Usually when I’m by myself and looking to fill my time. One year I traced a page from a Frozen coloring book and painted it. One time it was the Little Mermaid . It was something I really enjoyed. Creating but not, if that makes sense. I can’t draw to save my life, so I cheated and used someone else’s. But the technical side of mixing colors and making sure it was what I wanted just sang to me.

About 2 weeks ago we had nothing going on at work. I found myself on YouTube. One of my suggested videos was pour painting. I sat transfixed for 5 minutes watching this thing. And down the rabbit hole I went. Video after video. Techniques, mixes, canvases, set-ups, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera…….

Well that afternoon I found myself with a left over canvas that I had laying around and some paints. I mostly had everything for the initial set-up, but then I poured my first canvas. Little 8″x10″ canvas. Next thing I know, about 2 weeks and 10 canvases in, I’m in love. Every time I put paint on the canvas it is something new. Even if I use the exact same mixtures, pours, and everything else. Every single one is different. And I can tell how far I have come in myself as I love the fact that I have very little control over the outcome of this creation process. The paint is going to do what it’s going to do.

So there was a little break while I was writing this. I decided to try something new. And let me tell you this one is going to drive me nuts. There are people out there that can watch someone do something once or twice and be able to do it just like them. I am NOT that guy. So this one will drive me nuts until it looks like some of the most gorgeous creations I have seen. Don’t get me wrong it is racking my head, but it is still fun. And when you get that one you like, it feels great!

One of the constraints that I am having here in Riyadh is the fact that I dont have access to alot of stuff that is on the market. Things I could get with relative ease if not from Amazon in a couple of days. Products that would definitely make the flow of the paint so much better. But I deal with it and am trying my best to at least get some techniques down before I am able to get the stuff I need

So there it is, I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks. And every now and then he might actually enjoy them!

Music To My Ears

So I was on the flightline launching an aircraft the other day. And this post hit me. There were two times that I’ve been next to a turbine engine that this sound hit me. Right after I got off of active duty, I was offered a job with an air medical company. I went down to Mississippi for an interview. The best thing happened for me while I was there. They base got a call and had to start the aircraft. There is nothing like hearing the igniters of a Rolls-Royce 250 series engine. The pilot introduces fuel you hear the engine fully start. I had missed that sound for about 6 months at that point and had not even realized just how much I missed it.

Just recently that sound hit me again. Right here in Saudi Arabia. There are sights, sounds, and smells all associated with the aircraft that just make me feel happy. I already explained the igniters and that lighting of the fuel in the combustion chamber. But even the exhaust smell. It’s not the same as a car, and believe me you can get way too much of it. But every now and then you’ll get a whiff of the exhaust off of an errant breeze. It just reminds me sometimes that I am alive and I love what I do for a living.

But then onto the obvious one. My kids laughing. Each one of the 5 have their own distinctive laugh. And when I think about it, I hear each one of them. The girls’ high pitched laughter brings such joy into the world. When they are playing and just on the cusp of taking it too far with each other. I know the pitch, the sound of their breathing, and of course the stomps of their feet. Back not so long ago, I was miserable with life and took those sounds for granted. This summer I got to spend 3 weeks with them and soaked up every minute of it. From listening to them laugh on the boat with Poppop hitting the waves, to their excitement when we had our family birthday party.

The latest one has been my puppers. He is so funny. Most of the time he is laid back, laying down and not making a move or peep. But when he wants your attention lately, he makes like he is yawning and lets out this little whine. And of course, when my girl walks in the door, and he loses his mind! He runs to her wagging his tail, and does this whining thing. It is fun to watch!

So there it is music to my ears. Of course there are sounds that just grate every part of my being, but to be honest, I’m totally not in the mood to go over those. I choose the write the happy stuff. And right now, I am choosing not to go into the bad stuff.

The Little Things

One of the things you notice when you start to travel or live overseas, is the little differences. I’m not talking about driving on the wrong side of the road or the language barrier. I’m talking about the everyday things that start after a while to just kind of get to you. Little nerve pokers.

Driving here is an experience in itself and sometimes is the biggest source of frustration of living in working here in KSA. I have actually been told that it was worse less than 5 years ago. They have lines on most of the roads here, but i do question why. No one stays in their lane. Many times you have someone come into your lane and as you pass them you see a phone in their hand. Or better yet, it’s night and you see the glow of the screen lighting up their face. You are told that driving here is the most dangerous thing you will do. And yes it is.

But some of the little things that you don’t even realize. It is now an everyday part of my life to do chicanes through concrete barriers after going through a vehicle search and gate, followed by an ID checkpoint and another gate to get to my villa. Now I know this is for my security, I completely understand that and take it with a grain of salt. But that just adds another 5 minutes to my trip home after a 9 hour day and fighting midday Saudi traffic.

One thing we definitely take for granted in the States or other places, is the ability to just go out and go to a gas station, a convenience store, or for that matter any type of store. Which in the long run, may actually be beneficial to saving money. I have lived on my compound since February of 2018. The thing I have been most excited about happening, is they opened a brand name associated mini-mart. Makes things a little easier. And soon they will have an option that I can order with an app and just go collect it at the store!!! What a grand thing for introverts!!!!

So here’s the sequence of events when it comes to going to an electronics store here. Before I even leave the house, there is the traditional wallet, keys, chapstick check. You know, the necessities . Then I have to make sure that I have my compound ID. Now we get to drive. 10 speed bumps, a roundabout, and a gate later, I hit the road. I’ve already told you about the driving experience here and maybe one day I’ll be able to post a video of the daily drive. Once you get to store, you get to find parking. Most times it’s just easier to park away from wherever you are going and just walk in. Many times the parking spots are taken by cars parked crooked, or you really don’t want to park next to them because you can just see your vehicle getting hit.

You walk in the door and there are two types of reactions to a westerner. You are either looked at and ignored because no one speaks english, or you are followed almost puppy like. Once you find what you are looking for (if it’s available), you have to check out. That’s usually the easiest part of shopping. They ring everything up you hand them your card. So unlike the point of sale systems in the States, all cards are ran on a cellular connected machine. Sometimes you get English, sometimes you get Arabic. Luckily, when they spin it around it is time to put in your PIN. That part never changes. Then the fight of the traffic back to your compound, then back through the system of getting onto the compound.

So a little bit of rambling, I know. I have had this post started for almost a month. The things that bug me were rolling around in my head but I was having a hard time conveying those into words. Today I just decided to sit down and bang it out. Hopefully it makes sense!

So here it is…..

My introduction to the world of blogging. I’m not sure if this is going to be a journal of types or what some see as a “real” blog for now. I guess I’m just going to relay some thoughts, feelings, or maybe even adventures. We will see.

I’ve added some in the about me section, but I guess I could always go into more detail. I graduated in 1995 and through the urging of my mom (who knew there was nothing for me in great old Edgewood, MD) I joined the U.S. Army as an infantryman. I had no clue whatsoever I was getting myself into. Those next 4 years were my total introduction into adulthood and some of the best and worst years of my life. I spent 2 years as a jacked-up private and the next two realizing that the army would be my way of life for the for-seeable future.

Over the next 13 years, I spent my time as a helicopter mechanic. In specific an OH-58D(R) Kiowa Warrior mechanic. I loved wrenching, but all in all, I made my money being an inspector. Basically, I inspected when the wrench turners did their job to make sure it was right. Along with that came the background paperwork. Gosh, what a wonder it would be to just say that on a resume. (Excuse the lack of accent, as I am typing this on a keyboard/iPad combo I’m not used to yet.)

So there were, yes, a couple of deployments. 2003-2004 to Kuwait/Iraq. 2005-2006 to Iraq (FOB McHenry/ Kirkuk.) 2008-2009 Iraq (Balad “COB Speicher”.) And finally 2011-2012 Afghanistan (Bagram.)

All in all there were some great adventures along with some loss. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention those here. First came Chris and Don. Then came BJ. Scott and Matt. And finally Jose and Thalia. If any of their family are reading this and recognize a misspelling I am deeply sorry. I know what they were to me and can only imagine what they were to you. I’m sure at some point I will write about them again.

That paragraph didn’t come without some disharmony. There were a few more sentences in there. I wrote the majority of this while having a few drinks. You know the “spill-all” serum. Some super serious quick research by my girl, brought up some things that had been welled down and it turned into a contentious couple of minutes. Thank God, I have someone who supports me in writing this and knows what comes with my past. Also thank God for having someone who is patient enough to deal with me most of the time.

Ok so there it is. There is some history. I know there is a depressing paragraph in there, but without it, I am not who I am. I continue to live life and try to do the best I can. Those years weighed me down with heartbreak and sadness. Eventually it was time to live life for me and only me.

I have struggled with depression and everyday issues. For those of you who might know me, this might be a surprise to you. I do my best for my kids. For those of you who don’t know me, this is me.

So this is it, my first post. If you want to come along for the ride, you are more than welcome. If not, so be it. I am going to do my best in this to be transparent, my thoughts, my feelings, and more than likely an insight into who or what I am.